


Soft as Breath Upon My Skin

by roseandheather



Category: Honor Harrington Series - David Weber
Genre: Blessing, F/M, Forgiveness, Spoilers for "A Rising Thunder"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseandheather/pseuds/roseandheather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As she collapses into bed, the provisions of the rough-hewn treaty forming the Grand Alliance swimming in her mind, Eloise Pritchart dreams of someone who should have been there to see it. Or, at least, she thinks it's only a dream....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soft as Breath Upon My Skin

_Every now and then, soft as breath upon my skin_  
 _I feel you come back again, and it's like you haven't been_  
 _Gone a moment from my side, like the tears were never cried_  
 _Like the hands of time are holding you and me..._  


"...and I don't think I could stay awake any longer even if I wanted to," Queen Elizabeth III said heavily. "Eloise?"

The President of the Republic of Haven did her best to open half-lidded eyes. "I'm with you, Elizabeth," she said, the weariness in her voice clearly and brutally apparent.

The room had emptied minutes before, Manticorans and Havenites alike scattering for their beds and some sleep. But the two women at the heart of the volcano stayed even still, determined to make sure nothing was left for the morning.

"Well," said the Queen, every word clearly an effort, "in that case, I think we can spare a few hours to sleep. Unless there's anything else we need to add?"

"No." Eloise ran a hand through tousled platinum hair, forcibly resisting the urge to lay her head on the table right there. "No, I think we've got it all. You?"

"I think we have it all, too," said Elizabeth, the shock of wonder still in her voice despite the exhaustion. "Eloise, I really can't thank you enough."

"Don't," she said sharply, the raw edge of pain audible despite her efforts. "I should have done this a long time ago, Elizabeth. And if I had, maybe I wouldn't have..."

"Enough," said Elizabeth, with impossible gentleness. She didn't need to ask what - or, more precisely, _who -_ was on Eloise's mind at that moment. "Even if you had, I'm sorry to say I wouldn't have listened. Not then. We had no way of knowing..."

"No," agreed Eloise, the pain still sharp. "No, we didn't. But we do now."

"Yes," said Elizabeth, very, very softly. "Yes, we do. And by God, we will make them pay." The flint in her eyes told Eloise more than any words that Elizabeth was speaking not only of her own people who had died since hostilities resumed, but of all who had died during both wars, Manticoran and Havenite alike.

"Yes," agreed Eloise, just as softly, as the two rulers' eyes met - and shared perfect understanding. "Yes, Elizabeth. By God, we will."

Elizabeth came around the table then, one hand fluttering at her side, but it was Eloise who stepped forward to put her arms around the woman who, only three days ago, had ruled the nation with whom hers was at war.

 _But now,_ Eloise thought dizzily, as Elizabeth's arms closed gently, almost shyly, around her in return, _now we stand together. And this alliance will endure.  
_

"And tomorrow we go forward," murmured Elizabeth at last.

"Yes. Yes, we do." Blinking, she looked up, the lights already beginning to flash behind her eyes. "Good night, Elizabeth."

"Good night, Eloise," said the queen softly - in the lyrical syllables of Eloise's native New French.

She couldn't help the tearful grin. "Tomorrow, forward," she echoed, and Elizabeth Winton sent her one more smile before she, too, left the room.

~*~

_I knew you would._

The voice seemed to whisper at the edges of her consciousness, and Eloise struggled for reality, still half caught in the spell of a dream. "Javier?"

It would hardly be the first time she had dreamed of him, but something about this felt just a bit more substantial. Just a bit more real.

 _And why shouldn't it be?_ His laugh seemed to come from all around her. _Oh, Ellie, I am so proud. And I love you so._

"I'm sorry," she said, the tears falling freely. "I miss you, Javier. Every day."

_I know you do, darling. And I am so sorry I had to leave you. But look at what you've done, Ellie. Look at what you've brought about. This is what I died for, my love, and I'd do it again, with no regrets._

"It was for you," she murmured into the emptiness. "This was all for you. And it always will be."

_Every time you think I'm gone, look around you. Look at the Grand Alliance. Look at Theisman and Harrington and Tourville and White Haven, Foraker and Hemphill, you and Elizabeth, standing side by side. And remember. I am still here, Ellie, because you are and because the Republic is. And I will always be with you. Think of me, and there I am._

"I love you." She wasn't sure whether she said the words or thought them, but it didn't matter. Ghostly lips brushed her mouth, then her brow, and she could feel his arms all around her.

_I love you, Eloise. For everything you are, and everything you refuse to be._

Then he was gone, and yet he was not, and Eloise Pritchart slept in peace for the first time since a battle called Lovat.

~*~

She woke with the memory lingering, dreamlike, in her consciousness. The words he had said to her seemed to hover just out of her grasp, but the sense of peace, of love, of forgiveness, were still there, a continual balm to still-painful wounds. She missed him, always, but never again did she feel as though he was completely gone.

Every time she saw Tom and Honor chat and plan and laugh, saw Sonja and Shannon talk over each other in a rush of excitement, saw Elizabeth smiling at her with true warmth in her eyes, she always seemed to think, _All for you, my love. All for you._

And though she never heard a sound, a warm voice would whisper in reply, _See? Here I am. Always, my love. Always._

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the fic comes from Diamond Rio's "I Believe", which has basically become my post-Lovat Javier/Eloise theme song.
> 
> I have loved Eloise Pritchart since the moment I met her, and her Admiral almost as long. The greatest pain of the series, for me, was that Javier Giscard could not be alive to see the Grand Alliance - and so I cannot help but believe that Javier Giscard, in a way, _is_ the Grand Alliance. He lives on in the Haven he helped to build, and in the alliance which that Haven made possible - and so he can never truly be gone.
> 
> And Eloise, by God, deserves to know it. Whether Javier really came to speak to her that night, or whether it was her own exhausted soul finally forgiving itself, is for you to decide, because in the end it doesn't matter. He will always be with her, and I believe - and I believe that Eloise, too, believes - that he is smiling down on the Grand Alliance from a place where, someday, he will meet his love again.
> 
> Excuse me. I have a packet of tissues to go cry through now.


End file.
